I was one of those
people who wholeheartedly got on the bandwagon and joined the Twilight-Saga-Hater club. This was up until the
realization that, having avoided reading the dreaded novel (because of its
cringe- worthy cheesy plot), I bear no right whatsoever in judging, more so
hating, a novel that I haven’t even given a chance to read yet. And thus, this
review was conceived.
If you’re like me,
meaning someone who was completely put off just hearing what the plot was
about, and thus avoided reading and watching the franchise completely,
then let me explain what Twilight is about, according to how I perceived it upon reading the book.
Mainly, Twilight is
about Edward Cullen, as viewed by Isabella Swan. The end.
And now we move on to
how I thought the novel was executed. (note: I will try to keep calm as I go
along. Also, I’m writing this while still on Chapter 15 of the book. I don’t
know if I will ever find the drive to still read on.)
The novel took a first-
person POV, giving us, readers, a much personal contact with how the
protagonist views the world. Which isn’t much. It was excruciatingly,
torturously, difficult to read mainly because just the first few chapters was
too repetitive for me. To illustrate, I can safely say that the first chapters
of the book can be summed up into these sentences:
I am Isabella Swan. I am a pessimist. Seeing people around me struggle just to
earn my friendship didn’t do much to boost my self- esteem; however, all it
took was a few snippets of conversation with Edward Cullen to convince me that
I, a mere seventeen year- old girl, was absolutely positive that I
unconditionally and irrevocably love him.
Their flirtation
pretty much sums up the next chapters. I have never been this annoyed and
frustrated thinking just how blown out of proportion the partition of character
build-ups are. I literally had to stare off to space once in a while to stop
myself from crying how severe this case is. Sure, some of the flirtation part was
convincing and at times amusing, but after LITERALLY HUNDREDS of pages of
romancing, it just gets tiring and redundant. And infuriating.
To illustrate, Swan’s
conversations with high school friends such as Mike or Angela or others whom I
already forgot because Meyer didn’t even bother giving them a more concrete
character, are all curt, bland, direct to the point, and much to my
disappointment, bleak. All just a few sentences, occupying a maximum of one and
a half pages. HOWEVER, when it comes to the magnificent and sparkling Edward
Cullen (I wish I was exaggerating when I say this): their exchange of flirty
comebacks would last for five pages, minimum. And to make matters worse, after
these exchanges, all it would take is a few more sentences and, VOILA! Somehow Edward
is the topic of the narration. Again.
This happened for
probably 12 or so chapters that I started to wonder if this legitimately
belongs to Young Adult fiction and not romance (with the whole vampire-wolves
gimmick).
Also, though I don’t
object, it was really bothersome how coolly Swan reacted to the whole
“Yes-I’m-A-Vampire-And-Yes-I-Might-Kill-You” confession, as if a person
admitting he’s a vampire is the most normal thing in this day and age.
Bella: ayy boi u a
vampire?
Edward: yah i stalk u
2 sumtymz lol
Bella: .. dats hawt
And by this I end this article. Yes, I can
certainly see how Twilight would appeal to hormone- enraged, pubescent girls and
boys; and sure, to each his own. But to sum up, Twilight has been mentally and
emotionally exhausting. I would barely consider this first installation of the
series as adventure, but rather, romance. It was almost as draining as the
Fifty Shades series, though instead of the redundant sexing, Twilight will give
you so much flirtation you’d doubt if it’s legal.
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